


How Many Ex-lovers Is Too Many

by DNA_DreamsNeverAlone23



Series: Malec Special Short Stories [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Shadowhunters (TV), M/M, Malec, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-11 17:11:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17450993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DNA_DreamsNeverAlone23/pseuds/DNA_DreamsNeverAlone23
Summary: Malec short story – Two chapters end.Recently, Alec is really having a problem and struggle with Magnus’s uncountable ex-relationships before him. After an unhappy date with Magnus, Alec decided to seek his siblings’ advices. Can Alec overcome all his doubts and fix the trust issue to get back Magnus in time?





	1. The problem of Seventeen

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thank you for your kind support, which gives me the strength to keep going!  
> Here the new short Malec story, hope you all can enjoy it!
> 
> New chapter coming soon, stay tuned! Much love ya~! ^o^  
> Feel free to leave the review if you want to, much appreciated on it!
> 
> ————————————
> 
> *SPECIAL FOR CHINESE READERS ONLY! CHINESE VERSION of 'How Many Ex-lovers Is Too Many' is AVAILABLE NOW!
> 
> 至所有中文读者！  
> 改编翻译《多少个前任才算多》简体中文版可前往：  
> https://novel.banananetwork.com.my/book/851

“What is your love life main struggle or question?”  
If someone asked Alec Lightwood this question, Alec certainly will ask back the person one question.

That is…  
“How many past relationships you have before the right person step into your life?”

In frankly, recently, Alec is really having a problem and struggle with Magnus’s uncountable ex-relationships before him. That is an untold truth that he afraid to ask Magnus to get more in details. But at the same time, there is a conflict between the ‘want to know more’ and ‘refuse to accept the reality’ in Alec’s heart. 

That is something that Alec couldn’t deny, he really wishes he can know more about Magnus. And, he also knows that he will only get hurt when he found out the truth. Maybe just like what Magnus had told him, the ex-relationships are nothing to him but just the figures. Even Magnus had a special feeling towards some his ex-lovers, but they are already become one part of his past history and never exist anymore in the future, which also means that Magnus’s ex-lovers won’t become the obstacles or any troubles that might affect Alec and Magnus’s present and future relationship.

Magnus does not really want to reveal too much information to let Alec know. Actually, the biggest fear of Magnus is not what he worries that Alec will know too much about him, but Magnus is feeling scared that Alec might get hurt in the end. Magnus always knows that Alec is far too young and fewer experiences in love world. Furthermore, Alec is always a kind of thinking too much person, who has lots of rich imagination that about everything around him when he concerned for someone, like the High Warlock in Brooklyn, Magnus Bane, who is Alec’s first ever lover.

\--------------------

That is a starry night in the pub. Romantic songs played around, but the atmosphere between the lovers not really can be considered as ‘fine’.

“So… How many ex-lovers you have before I become your boyfriend?” Alec asked in hesitation when he first noticed that Magnus has some hidden truth that not yet revealed to him.

Magnus sits upright with an uneasy feeling in his stomach when he tries so hard to focus on what Alec had said to him.

“Why you want to know this……?” Magnus not really feeling this question will be a problem to him until Alec asked him.

“Curiousness.” Alec shrugged and gazing at Magnus with a serious look. “I wish I can know more about your past, I want to know the real you, Magnus.”

“What you know about me, the real me… Well, you already met me, Alexander. I mean, you already know the real me, this is the real me all the time!” Magnus gasped before he drinking and finished his beer quickly in a short moment. 

“Are you thirsty?” Alec asked in confusion.

“Yeah.” Magnus sighed heavily and he turns his head to Alec. “Can we just skip this question, please?”

“Why?” Alec asked again. “Why you want to change the subject? Is this a hard question to you?”

‘YES! WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS, ALEXANDER?’ Magnus shout it out loud in his bottom heart. But, of course, Magnus never has the guts to speak all of this to Alec.

Magnus sighed again while he getting tired on Alec’s unstoppable ‘ex-lovers’ related questions. Finally, what Magnus able to open his mouth and tell Alec is……

“Alexander, I love you and you love me. And, the most important thing is you are my boyfriend now. Therefore, I don’t think the past relationship will become a problem for us, can you understand?” Magnus said.

Alec nodded his head. “I know, but still……”

“Since it isn’t a problem anymore, why you want to keep asking this kind of questions? It’s boring!” Magnus fake an uncomfortable smiling face to Alec, then he continues to say. “Alexander, please let us just enjoy this moment with fun, okay?”

It is very clear that Magnus is trying to hide something from him. Alec noticed this obviously and he feels his heart is getting heavier. Magnus never acted like this to avoid Alec for asking him a question before this. There must be something in Magnus’s past life that Magnus doesn’t want to let other people know, which Alec included. 

Then, Alec sighed and nodded his head again.  
Magnus is glad and feeling relieved that Alec finally stops to ask more question about his past.

“One more beer, please!” Magnus ordered the beer from the bartender and missed Alec’s sad look. In fact, Magnus is keeping avoiding the eye-contact with Alec, which makes Magnus missed and do not really see what the real thoughts that Alec tried so hard to hide from Magnus. 

Alec faked his happy smiles to Magnus for the rest of their conversation, however, Magnus not knowing this truth when he also tried to avoiding Alec at the same time. There is an awkward atmosphere between both of them, but they are hiding it so well by their faking laughing and talking moments. 

Everything seems smooth, or not.

There is a silent moment between them after the end of another short random topic. Both of Alec and Magnus looked not really comfortable on this date. Tonight, what’s keep repeating in their minds is the one and the only exact question that Alec asked and wanting to know the answer, but also is the question that Magnus is kept avoiding by many excuses. 

“Magnus, I think I can accept it,” Alec said suddenly without any opening remarks.

“What do you mean…?” Magnus begged from his bottom heart that Alec can forget out this soon. There is nothing more Magnus can tell him. No matter how Magnus tries to avoid, but in the end, Alec might be the one who gets hurt from the truth of answer.

“About your past relationships…” Alec takes a deep breath and asked again. “Please tell me, how many relationships you have been with before me?”

“Alexander…”

“Magnus, I want to know. Please!”

“You have no idea what the answer you are trying to reveal. Trust me, you won’t like what you hear.” Magnus tries so hard to convince Alec to give up this question again. But Alec is stubborn and refuse to listen to Magnus’s advice. 

“It’s not only about you, Magnus. It’s all about us! I want to get closer to you, I want to know how I can do better to be with you! I want to do better than them!” Alec shouted out loud with frustration.

“Alexander, you don’t understand. You are good enough for me, nothing you need to make changes or compare yourself to the other person, especially not compare yourself to my ex-lovers!” Magnus also raises his voices uncontrollably. 

Then, both of them sighed and remain silent for a long while. 

After that, Magnus is the one who starts talking again.  
“Alexander, please just drop this question.”

“No. Never,” Alec said in a firm tone.

Magnus looked defeated. “Alexander……”

“If you refuse to tell me who is them, then at least tell me the figures.”

“There is nothing differences between their names and my ex-lovers’ round figures.” Magnus seems he is getting tired on this topic already. He wishes nothing but hope they can end this topic now.

“Since it doesn’t have any big differences, then you can pick either one. Neither you want to tell me their names nor just a round figure.” Alec glancing at Magnus with a serious look. 

“You will certainly regret it, Alexander.” Magnus gives his last try.

However, Alec still not feeling to give up so soon.  
“Tell me the answer. Don’t make me wait for too long, Magnus.”

“Seventeen,” Magnus said.

“Seventeen?” Alec looked surprises and an unknown smile appeared on his face. This answer is actually far from his estimation. He thought the answer will be a greater digit than this.

On the contrary, Magnus’s worried face turn to an unbelievable confusion look when he noticed that his innocent young lover, Alec was actually believing that seventeen will be the final answer. 

“Oh gosh…” Magnus bit his lips and trying so hard to reopen his mouth again. “Alexander, actually the actual figure is about seventeen…”

“I know,” Alec said.

But Magnus added quickly this time. “Thousand.”

“What?” Alec is totally in shock with his half-open mouth.

“It’s seventeen thousand,” Magnus said with the tremble lips, then he sighed and ducking his sight from Alec.

“You said that you can accept it, right?” Magnus asked in hesitation.

There is a long silent respond from Alec, which makes Magnus slowly go insane.

“Let’s call it a day,” Alec replies in a low emotionless tone.

\--------------------

New York Institute. 

It’s already late midnight time when Alec back to Shadowhunter institute. Alec had been rejected Magnus’s invitation to stay overnight at Magnus’s loft just now before they split apart at the pub. Alec thinks that he made the right choice since he noticed that Magnus seems to need some private space too tonight. 

“Stupid Alec, where have you been just now? Why are you not answer the phone or reply to my messages? Don’t you ever dare to do like this again! I am worried about you!” Jace asked eagerly when he walks faster towards Alec.

“I’m sorry.” Alec apologized and explained in a soft tone. “I just having a date with Magnus, so I was switching off the phone.”

Jace sighed. “Whatever, at least you are safe.”

Observe Alec’s sorrowful face for a while, Jace asked again. “Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong with you?”

“What?”

“You looked like you are suffering from something bad.”

“Am I…? Oh… Maybe. I just a little bit tired.” Alec sighed heavily.

“Did something bother you?” Jace shows his concern.

Alec looking at Jace and glad that Jace is here. Maybe this is the right time, Alec is really needed some suggestion or advice. Jace can be sorted as one kind of love expert, doesn’t it?

“Yes. Can we talk in somewhere privately?” Alec noticed that few Shadowhunters walking around them, which made Alec feel nervous and uncomfortable. 

“Sure. Come with me.” Jace then leads Alec to Alec’s bedroom. 

 

[To Be Continued]


	2. Shut up and Kiss me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Observe Alec’s sorrowful face for a while, Jace asked again. “Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong with you?”
> 
> “What?”
> 
> “You looked like you are suffering from something bad.”
> 
> “Am I…? Oh… Maybe. I just a little bit tired.” Alec sighed heavily.
> 
> “Did something bother you?” Jace shows his concern.
> 
> Alec looking at Jace and glad that Jace is here. Maybe this is the right time, Alec is really needed some suggestion or advice. Jace can be sorted as one kind of love expert, doesn’t it?
> 
> “Yes. Can we talk in somewhere privately?” Alec noticed that few Shadowhunters walking around them, which made Alec feel nervous and uncomfortable.
> 
> “Sure. Come with me.” Jace then leads Alec to Alec’s bedroom.

In Alec’s room, Jace lying in Alec’s bed directly without Alec’s invitation. Alec doesn’t say anything, he just walking to Jace and sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“Come on, just spit it out! I’m listening.” Jace hugged Alec’s pillow and turns his head to Alec with a curious and confused look. “I thought you should be very happy since you finally went out the date with Magnus. But then, why you give me this sad, awful sorrow look?”

“Long stories.” Alec sighed.

“Then, make it short.” Jace gives Alec a glance.

“Magnus seems trying to hide something from me.” 

“Oh…Do you know what is it?” Jace asked.

Alec nodded and continues to talk. “I got asked him about that, then he finally told me the truth.”

“Then, it’s good. I don’t see any problem here.” Jace replies honestly.

Alec sighed heavily and looked so sad. “I damn regret that I am asking him about this question.”

“Well… I don’t understand now. If that is the answer you want to know the most, then why you felt regret on it? Magnus is willing to tell you what he tried to hide, then I supposed this is a good sign on your love relationship, doesn’t it?”

Alec just shaking his head quickly with a frustration look.

“Enlighten me. please?” Jace sits up from the bed, leaning closer to Alec.

“Can you believe that? Magnus is having about seventeen thousand ex-relationships before me!” Alec said with an anxious feeling. 

But who knows, Jace just giving Alec a confuse look and say. “Oh, then…? What happened the next?”

“Jace, don’t you get it what I mean?” Alec gives him an unbelievable look. “Magnus had about seventeen thousand relationships and ex-lovers before he decided together to be with me!”

“Okay, well noted on that already. Then, so what?” Jace still not really understand what’s the problem on it.

Alec sighed and look confused. “So… what? You asked me so what? Don’t you feel this is a problem itself? Magnus is just…” Alec sighed again, not really know how to use a correct to describe this kind of situation. 

“Alec, last I checked, you know exactly your boyfriend, Magnus was a warlock,” Jace said.

“Then?”

“Then, you should know better than anyone else that Magnus had a long life before you.”

“So?”

“So, you should accept what Magnus had been through before you.”

“…What…?” Alec stunned at there, complete with a blank.

“To know more about the past of Magnus, knowing that what he had been through, and then accept him completely. I think this is the first main reason why you want to ask Magnus this kind of question, doesn’t it?” Jace sighed and now finally get that why Alec looked so anxiety.

Alec remains silent mode until Jace is talking again.

“You are stupid, Alec. Now, listen up buddy! Ask me the same question you asked Magnus.”

“What?” Alec looked confused, not sure what Jace wants to do.

“Seriously? Should I really need to repeat it again?” Jace sighed heavily and shaking his head like he had been defeated by Alec’s stupidity. 

Alec sighed too, but his face looked so sad and disappointed by Jace’s reaction. Actually, he is really thought that Jace will support his point of view, instead of being like this, seems who never felt Magnus’s past relationship is a problem at all.

“Alec, ask me the question that you asked Magnus. The question about the past relationship or ex-lovers.” Jace asked again, this time he looked very serious.

“Okay, fine.” Alec sits upright and looking at Jace. “So… How many ex-lovers you have before the right one like Clary become your girlfriend? Tell me who is them, or at least tell me the round figure.”

At first, Jace laughing at Alec’s question. 

“What is so funny? Don’t laugh!” Alec looked like he is almost getting mad already.

“Your question itself is really funny and ridiculous. I can’t believe that you actually asked Magnus this type of question. Did Magnus really answer it for you?”

“Of course, Magnus did. What’s so funny?! There is nothing wrong with this question!” Alec is raising his voices again. “STOP LAUGHING, JACE WAYLAND! You are the worst brother and parabatai ever!” Alec is going crazy because of Jace right now. 

“Okay, be serious now.” Jace clears his throat before speaks again. 

Then, the room door is open suddenly without any prior notice.

“Hey, what are you two doing at here?” Isabelle looking at his brothers with a weird look. “Alec, Jace and I had been searching for you a long time, thinking that you already missing in nowhere. Where have you been just now?”

“Went out with Magnus for a drink,” Alec answered in a simple form, trying to get himself out from this drama. He gives Jace a dangerous look when he noticed that Jace is almost telling Isabelle all of their conversation with a funny and excited look. 

“What happened?” Isabelle puts her hands on the waist. “Anyone care to elaborate…?”

Jace gives Alec a glance before start talking to Isabelle. “Ask your dear big brother for permission, then I will tell you everything that you wish to know.”

Alec staring at Jace with a silent murderous look to ask him to keep his mouth shut.

Jace shrugged and looks back at Isabelle, who is getting impatience now.

“Alec, please…” Isabelle said in a pleasing tone. 

Alec’s heart was softened by Isabelle. Finally, he gives up and sends Jace green light permission. Jace looked very happy and excited to share their open secret to Isabelle. Once Jace done explained everything, Jace and Isabelle are ignoring Alec directly and laughing together.

“Excuse me?!” Alec seems hard to believe that his siblings are both so heartless.

“This is really funny!” Isabelle commented while she is trying so hard to catch her breath.

“Yep, absolutely.” Jace nodded as an agreement. 

Alec seems really annoyed by his siblings and looked totally speechless. He just standing at there with an angry serious look. “STOP LAUGHING! THIS IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL!”

“Come on, Alec, don’t be so childish.”

“You guys are the one who looked childish, instead of me!” Alec seems really pissed off. 

Jace sighed and gives Isabelle a signal glance, hopes his sister can help on it a little bit. 

Isabelle sighed too, then she changed to a serious mode. “Alec, please stay calm and listen to us.”

“What? If you really guys want to talk, then please say something useful!” Alec replied in a nasty tone.

“Of course, no problem! Our pieces of advice are always useful!” Isabelle nodded her head and continues. “Alec, the love relationship is quite complicated and it also can be very simple.”

“Could you please say something that I can understand?” Alec asked.

“Well…” Isabelle is thinking again.

Jace continues the rest sentences on behalf of Isabelle. “Hey, Alec. Look, the whole thing is quite simple. I have only one simple conclusion, just listen up carefully…”

“Fine, what is it?”

“No one can ensure that all love relationship will go smooth and not even Angel can assure that all of us can find the right person at the beginning. Therefore, it is very normal if we keep trying on a love relationship with different people until we found our true love.” Jace said while Isabelle keeps nodding her head.

“So…? But this still doesn’t make sense to me at all!” Alec seems can understand a bit of theory in Jace’s conclusion. But there is still a thorn in his heart because Magnus went too far on that. Even Jace is right, Magnus shouldn’t keep trying the love until he gets about seventeen thousand relationships before Alec, doesn’t it? This kind of figures is really quite unacceptable.

“Alec, Magnus is immortal and you should know it. He isn’t like us, and you know it too! How can you become such irrational and pushing him to an edge which Magnus himself also not knowing what wrong he had done to you? This is just unfair to Magnus!” Jace said.

“I am being irrational? What kind of logic do you have? I mean… Magnus… If he truly in love with someone, how can he was having such… many ex-lovers?” Alec is really confusing now, he can’t even think straight.

“Okay, fine. Let’s do it like this.” Isabelle sighed and looking at Jace. “Jace, ask me the question that Alec asked Magnus.”

Jace nodded and asked accordingly.  
Then, Isabelle was giving an answer which makes Alec stunned again.

For the first question, Jace is asking Isabelle had been with how many people in her past relationship. Isabelle answers it without thinking, with simple three words. “I lost count.”

Then, now it’s Isabelle’s turn to ask Jace the same question. Jace also replied the question similar to Isabelle’s reaction, he replies quickly without thinking twice. But his answer is just only one word. “Uncountable.”

“Good, now tell me the reason, Jace. Why are you cannot even calculate your past lovers?” Isabelle asked.

Alec gazing at Jace with a curious look. 

“Oh, come on. Why so serious?” Jace then answers the question honestly. “In fact, there are too many…So I lost count on it. Izzy, you should know that too. I love them and I am really enjoying every single moment when I am being with them. But as you know, most of them just the passer-by in my life. Until I met Clary and falling in love with her, I just starting to feel like I own the world and no need those passers-by be existing in my life anymore.”

“Well, it clearly stated that Clary is your true love, even I’m not sure if she the last one for you.” Isabelle smiles.

Jace laughing carefree. “Neither am I. After all, love is no promise, full of surprises and unpredictable. No one can hundred percent make sure on it, that they can find their true love in one-shot.”

“Totally agree on it!” Isabelle then turns her head to Alec. “Hey, Alec. Can you understand our point of view now? We all learned from love, keep trying in the relationship with different people to find the right person. And, true love is cannot be compared! You should never do it again or using your own measurement to punish Magnus or simply judge him.”

“Yeah. Just like what Izzy said. Alec, although we are young already have uncountable love experiences before the right one come in. Thus, you should never judge Magnus by your own opinion anymore. I believe that Magnus can’t assure anything to you either. His past lovers are in the past already, Alec you should looking forward to your future with Magnus, instead of keeping fighting with the past! Especially, please don’t make a complaint and compare yourself to Magnus ex-lovers anymore, got it?”

“Why you all sound like I am the one who did wrong? Now the problem is Magnus’s past relationship……” Alec looked unhappy with this. 

Isabelle shaking her head. “Alec, you are making troubles for yourself. Listen up, this is totally unnecessary! You no need these dramas in your love life! Stop thinking too much and stop creating problems for you and Magnus. If you love Magnus and he loves you, then end of story. Seriously, you no need to find out how many people Magnus been with, which ex-lovers Magnus love the most, or what types of relationship is most unforgettable by Magnus. Alec, you only need to remember now, this moment, Magnus belongs to yours. He is your one and only boyfriend and you are his only one too! Understand?”

Alec sighed. “I am confusing. I know this isn’t Magnus’s fault, but when I thinking about that I need to share his love with those seventeen thousand people who live in his past, I just…… feeling awful…”

Jace tapping Alec’s shoulder to give Alec some strength and moral support. “Alec, you should listen to us. Trust us, this is for your own good. Magnus has done nothing wrong. He is not betrayed on you. That is all happened in the past, so you cannot do hard on Magnus, got it? Just let bygone be bygone. Present and future, these are the things what you need to focus start onwards.”

“Can I do that? I mean… The Magnus’s past relationship, what he had been gone through in his past, will never be a problem to me or won’t affect my love relationship with Magnus? Is that all true?” Alec asked with an uneasy heart. 

Isabelle sighed but say nothing.  
Jace, on the other hand, is looking at Alec and reassuring to him.

“Of course! Magnus’s past relationship or whatever his ex-lovers totally won’t affect your relationship with him.”

“Really? Is that real?” Alec starting feeling the hope.

“Yes, it is. Unless you do not treat it like a problem, then those ‘so-called ex-relationship’ will only remain as the past memories. That’s all.” Jace added.

Alec sighed heavily but his heart is getting lighter. He seems to can slowly understand the points that Isabelle and Jace keep talking to him. Maybe they are right, Alec is just making the unnecessary troubles to himself and Magnus.

The thing, anything, won’t be a problem for you, unless you let them be it.

“Alec, you should try to talk to Magnus again,” Isabelle suggested.

Jace is tapping Alec’s shoulder again to encourage him. “Go, buddy! Admit your insecure feeling and apologizes with Magnus, nothing to be shame about it.”

“Will he forgives me? It seems… I hurt his feeling……” Alec buried his face with both hands.

“If he loves you, he will certainly forgive you. True love is about to accept all the imperfection too. So, if you this insecure boyfriend willing to accept Magnus’s past, I think Magnus will happy to accept his insecure lover, a.k.a. you, Stupid Alec Lightwood too.” Jace teasing and squeezing Alec’s shoulder.

Alec sighed and looking at both his siblings.  
“I will try. If he willing to give me another chance to make it up.”

\----------------------

Magnus’s apartment.  
It is the longest midnight ever. 

Magnus is having some insomnia problems since his unhappy date with Alec. He actually had mentally prepared that Alec might be asking him this type of questions, like how many ex-lovers he had been with, who is the best lover in his heart, what types of love relationship make him unforgettable the most…… 

Magnus is really had mentally prepare before this. However, it seems Magnus is over-confident to himself on this matter. He thoughts he can answer Alec’s questions easily without feeling anything. But in fact, after such a long time and centuries, some kind of feeling will never disappear but it also becomes his worst nightmare. 

In love with someone without bear the consequences is easy, doesn’t it? 

A person who like Magnus living a long life, always need some excitement to make them feel alive. Most of the time, Magnus is having a relationship with different persons just for fun and for killing the time. Magnus is immortal. Love, this word meant so much to him. He usually not dares to fall in love too easily, because the love will only bring him to heartbreak and nothing else. So, Magnus is used to be a playboy, he enjoyed spent his time with others for day and night, including some irresponsible relationship like a one-night stand or sexual relationship only, but he is not really put those passers-by into his heart.

That is really a rare thing if anyone can walk into his heart as Alec did. 

Magnus never feels guilty on his messy relationship in past. However, until today, he just realized that he had gone too far. Maybe he shouldn’t take his immortal life as an excuse. In fact, Magnus is feeling guilty now, because he knows that he was having lots of uncountable irresponsible and messy wild relationship with many people, and lots of them that Magnus can’t even remember or pronounce their name or face correctly. And all of these reasons not just because of the long life that Magnus had been through or live on. But, it is just simply because that Magnus is a playboy. At most of the time, Magnus is just enjoying that kind of sexual skin-relationship, instead of the real proper decent relationship.

“Maybe I am a truly guilty person. That’s why I can’t even raise my words to prove my innocence. There is a truth that I can’t deny it, I did really terrible things in the past.” Magnus can’t help himself but thinking back all those crazy wildly past memories. 

The people surrounded him, their faces and voices are getting blur and not even able to recognize. However, Magnus can still able to feel back some that time emotions. He can still remember that kind of feeling of joy and excitement, when those people were having crazy fun and rotten to the core with him, together. Those the past memories are a part of Magnus, which formed him and make him become a person what he wanted to be by today. But, on contrary, those past memories also become a part of that his innocent young boyfriend, Alec Lightwood, who will never accept it.

Alec is a decent upright young guy. Magnus is wondering how can Alec accept those his past absurd and ridiculous act? Can Magnus dreams on it? Can Magnus hope for that? Is that possible that Alec able to accept what Magnus did before Magnus met with Alec?

When Magnus is sinking in the past memories, there is someone knocking the door. Magnus frowns and wonders who is the person coming at this inappropriate timing. He sighed heavily and walks to the entrance door with a simple dark blue silky nightgown. 

“Who is it?” Magnus asked in an annoyance tone while he opens the door.

“Hi, it’s me, Alec.” 

“Hi.” Magnus looked surprises to see Alec standing on the entrance.

“May I go in?” Alec asked in hesitation.

“Sure. Please come in.” Magnus is damn nervous right now and not sure why Alec is coming here. 

Alec walks into the apartment and stays in the living room with Magnus alone. Both of them looked quite worries and not sure how to start the conversation. Finally, after a while, Magnus sighed and tries to break the awkward silence. 

“Why are you coming here this late at night? Is there anything Shadowhunter duty that I can help with?” Magnus asked.

Alec shaking his head. “No, it’s not about the shadowhunter job. Actually, I am coming here to apologize.”

“Apologize?” Magnus raised his eyebrows and looked confused.

“Yeah, apologize. I want to say sorry to you, Magnus. For everything that I said in our earlier date at the pub. What I might say and hurt your feeling… I hope you can forgive me.”

“There is nothing you need to say sorry. Alexander, this is not your fault at all. You no need to take responsibility on my past. What I had done before I met you, it’s just a bit difficult to understand and hard to accept.” Magnus turns his sad face away from Alec.

Alec feels his heart tightening in all sudden and faster moves forward to gives Magnus a back hug. Magnus stunned and tries to turn around in Alec’s strong grips, but Alec not really giving him a chance. 

“Don’t move and don’t turns around, please just listen to me, like this way.” Alec almost begging.

“Why?” Magnus asked in confusion. 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I have the courage to facing you right now. So… Please just stand still and hear me out. I promise that I will make it quick and let go of you once I am done talking.” Alec said.

Magnus nodded his head with a heavy sigh. 

Alec takes it as a signal of approval, then he continues to talk with a nervous and quick tone. “I never want to hurt you, Magnus. I like you and I love you. I never had such feeling with anyone else than you. You are the only person that made me feel like this. I know that I can’t losing you because I need you.”

Magnus does not say anything, he just stunned at there and try to be a good listener.

“Maybe Jace and Izzy are right. I am an annoying and insecure boyfriend ever. I am truly sorry that I’m being like this, but I can’t control myself. So, I am sorry about what I did to you. What I questioned you, what I blaming everything on you, even I know that are not really your faults either.” Alec said with sadness and deep regret feeling.

“Can you accept it…? I mean… my past. As you know, I can’t even make changes on it anymore.” Magnus’s calm voices include some complicated emotions which Alec can’t understand it fully though.

“I’m not sure about it… But I will try and learn to accept all of you.” Alec said in an honest tone. “Please forgive me, I promise to you that I won’t be unreasonable again. I will try……”

Magnus sighed and caressing Alec’s hands surround him with his hands gently. “I want you to know. I never regret what I had done in the past, even for one single moment. But I am afraid of……”

“Afraid of what?”

“Afraid of the time when you found out my past. It’s must be tough to you and I’m not sure if you can understand and accept it or not.” Magnus explained in a soft tone. “Alexander, you are such an innocent person that I had ever met. You are pure and kind, and also an upright decent person. You always a very understanding person to me, but honestly, I don’t think you can really be understanding on my past……”

“So… my greatest strengths become my worse weaknesses now?” Alec buried his face in Magnus’s neck. His voice is broken as same as his heart.

“Alexander……”

“I will try to be a better boyfriend. I will try to understand your past. Even I can’t understand, I will try to accept all of you. Magnus, please forgive my weakness because I don’t think I can live without you.” Finally, Alec made a decision. 

“Neither am I,” Magnus replies with his trembling lips. He is then turning around and gazing at Alec’s eyes. 

“Can I kiss you?” Alec asked hesitantly. 

Magnus cupped Alec’s cheek with his gentle hands and nodded his head slightly as agreement. “Just shut up and kiss me.”

After that, both of them using their action to prove their deepest love to each other. No matter what happened, as long as they love each other, true love will never die. Love can conquer everything. Maybe, what they had to do is just surrender themselves to love itself. Then, everything will be fine and get its own answer at the right time.

“Seriously, just tell me. To you, how many ex-lovers is too many?” Magnus asked this question when he is pushing Alec sits down on the couch. 

“Actually, I don’t feel this is an important question to me anymore.” Alec smiles softly and pulling Magnus to lean on him, then he asked shyly. “I just want you to stay by my side. Magnus, can I get more kisses from you?”

Magnus pressed a gentle kiss on Alec’s lips to answer him.

How many ex-lovers is too many?  
To Alec, maybe the answer is obvious as always, just he is so blind and does not see at first.

There is no certain answer to this question. Maybe the answer is also not related to ‘how many’ at all. It’s all about true love. As long as we are patient enough and wait until the right person come into our life, then whatever past relationship is just nothing else than the memories only.

 

[The End]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah! New update again! Short story end.  
> Feel free to leave a comment after reading, much love ya~! ^o^
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